Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
