Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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