So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
vagina is talking i cant
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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