Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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