just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have fence marks all over my body
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
