I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
