sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
