New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
