you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
3 2 1 whiskey
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
