Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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