New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
