I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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