Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
