I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
