im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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