I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
