did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
