yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Did I show you my penis last night?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
