Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
