like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
