My brain says no but my pants say off.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
