We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Drake has all the answers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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