I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
