Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
