he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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