is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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