Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
