Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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