Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
