dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
