I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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