we have pet lesbian snakes
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
