Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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