Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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