: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
