Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's never too late to be topless.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
They have beer where we have blood.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
