I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
