would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
