I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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