i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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