what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
