Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
