Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
