This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
