Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
