My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
