If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
