I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
