I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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