Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
